Friday, November 30, 2012

Since I have some time on my hands...

Hi there. It's only been 8 (make that 9 because I started this yesterday, which will now be the end of this post) days since I posted last, and yet it feels like it's been an eternity. We'll start at Thanksgiving...

Thursday morning, we got up and were getting ready to drive down to Kentucky to my in-laws. While showering, I nearly fainted because the pain got so bad and I started having a panic attack at the same time. Awesome combination, let me tell ya. I took a xanax and laid back down and tried to breathe. I didn't want to ruin the holiday and stay home. After some rest, I finished getting ready and we got on the road. Hubby drove and I slept pretty much the entire 4 hour drive.

We got to our southeastern Kentucky destination mid-afternoon. We had a really wonderful time. There were probably 35+ people there from Josh's family. At least 10 of those were kids under the age of 10. Bison had the best day of his life. He was getting chased by kids and I think by the end of the day, people had fed him half of an entire ham. Not even joking. We decided we were going to eat...just make good decisions about it. I stuck to a small scoop of mashed potatoes, green beans (I gave all the bacon in them to the dog), and a palmful of white meat turkey that i carefully cut up in to teeny tiny pieces to make everything last long. I also may have eaten like 5 deviled eggs-but hey-protein. Didn't even touch dessert. So we got to participate in Thanksgiving eats. We both  laughed because I think we were so full off of the little amount we had, that even if we wanted to eat more, it was physically impossible.

Friday we got up and Josh's mom brought our niece and came over to the hotel we were staying at and we swam for an hour before checking out. We were on our way to his mom's house when Josh got paged by work. He was on-call at the time, and of course something major had to happen. The plan was to help his mom decorate for Christmas, but instead it turned in to me helping decorate while Josh had to get out his computer and be on a call for 2 hours. We got back home Friday evening.

Saturday we participated in some "Small Business Saturday" shopping and got probably half of our Christmas shopping done. It was nice to walk around downtown, and I forgot I was in pain for a while.

Fast forward to Tuesday (I can't remember what happened Sunday/Monday--put up our Christmas decorations? Yeah.) I woke up feeling a little uneasy. Oh, Monday I did call and ask the doctor's office why the hell I was still waiting on getting my test scheduled since I still hadn't gotten the phone call after seeing her on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I finally got an appointment scheduled for Wednesday at 8 am....Tuesday I went to work and was there for about 4.5 hours when I started to feel REALLY bad. I told my managers that I was going to get to 5 hours and then flex my time and just go home for the day. I contemplated the ER. I even drove there but didn't want to pay to park. (It would have been validated-- I got talked out of going when I called my doctor again and Josh.) So I came home and slept for a few hours.

Tuesday night, we went ahead and went to our normal weekly weigh-in. I felt awful, but the doctors there know what's going on, and I leaned on Josh the whole time. It was good we went. Even with Thanksgiving, I lost 7.2 pounds in the week! YEA! Granted, I think it just evened out from the .4 the week before. That put me at 213.8. I was happy--at least with this.

Wednesday morning was the ultrasound. It wasn't too bad until the tech would press exactly where it hurts and then make me hold my breath. I told her I was kind of bummed because I always thought my first ultrasound would be for a baby. Silly, I know. I came home and showered, but couldn't handle the thought of going to sit all day again.

I called off Thursday as well. Still didn't feel too hot, and I wanted to answer the phone on the first ring with any results. That phone call came at about 1 pm yesterday. Ultrasound didn't show gallstones, just "sludge." Gross. Additionally, my doctor now thinks it could be something else-a hiatal hernia. According to the interwebz, hiatal hernias and gallbladder things can be very similar. I was told that they want me to see a specialist. This is when I start crying. A specialist is going to take forever to get in to and no one seems to care that I'm missing work because I'm in pain.

 **Time to clarify pain--This is not the worst pain I've ever felt. This pain is stabbing and comes and goes. What makes it particularly awful is that it hurts to SIT. Laying down or reclined is fine. Standing for a while isn't even that bad. But sitting--hunched over at a computer monitor for 8 hours--is unbearable--hence, missing work.

I got them to fax a note to my boss to at least give him a timeline of what's going on and that I'm not lying. I don't have any paid time off left, and my company isn't just like "oh, we just won't pay you, have a good day at home." It's "oh, we're not going to pay you AND when you get back, you'll get written up." The last thing I should be worried about is losing my job because the health care system takes an eternity to give answers.  Two hours ago, I got a text from my boss saying he didn't get the fax. I had to call and leave another message saying to fax the damn thing. ANGRY.

Josh conveniently had his yearly physical yesterday with our primary care doctor yesterday an hour after I got the phone call about the results. He was a champ and used his visit to ask our doctor a little bit more about me. She asked as well how I was doing...She told him that she was going to go ahead and order a CT scan as well while I wait for the specialist appointment...

At about 5 last night, I got another phone call. This time from the person doing the scheduling for the CT scan. In the middle of the conversation about scheduling, she says "I'm sorry, your insurance is going to have to pre-approve this, so I have to send this back to your doctor." MORE CRYING. I told her that I had just had the ultrasound yesterday, Tuesday I had the pre-approval, I get that it's a different test, but I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE. So she compromises and schedules it for Monday. I still haven't gotten a called from the gastrointerologist specialist. Surprise, surprise.

What does one do after crying for 4 hours? One watches Steel Magnolias. And cries for 2 more. Then takes a lavender bath. And sleeps decently for the first time in a week. Albeit with crazy dreams...

So here we are. Friday morning. Today is one of those days were it's not so bad. But since the fax that my boss is SUPPOSED to have says I'm excused through the week, I'm home again. Shopping for iPhone cases and taking naps. (Merry Christmas from hubby--my iPhone 5 64gb should be here Monday!!) I have been looking for 3 days and can't find what I want. I'm terrified about breaking the screen. But the protective cases are the ugly cases. Can't I have cute AND functional? I've sent emails and posted on facebook and twitter different cases, but as soon as someone says "that one!" I find something else. My inability to decide seems to be much like the time frame in doctors and insurance companies treating patients.

Monday I HAVE to go back to work, after the CT scan. I already am planning on tears and xanax being involved. And that I will walk in with a pillow to squeeze while I'm chained to my cubicle.

So, what are your weekend plans?

1 comment:

Staysailsareforever said...

Sorry about your pain, mama! My mom had some serious gallbladder issues where she'd have nearly fainting attacks....but when she discussed the removal surgery, the taking out seemed to cause more issues than just leaving it in, so she just stuck to a stricter diet of non-fried foods, etc. Anyways, I know how shitty and slow the medical process is, I hope it goes faster for you.
Also, I was pretty scared when I got my iphone, and worried about cases, etc...but I've had it over a year, and have never broken anything on it even once. All I have is the sticker thing to go over the glass (which I had them put on in the store so there'd be no bubbles) and I just buy any case I want. I'm semi-careful with it but the amount I use it for and where I take it (boat, beach, hiking, airplanes, trips, roadtrips, walking the dog, wilderness, etc). I've even dropped it a few times. Seriously, don't be too worried about that. Unless you drop it REALLY hard on like cobblestone or brick, you'll be good to go :)